This week has completely wrecked me. In such a good way. Does that make sense to you guys? I couldn’t be happier, because Jesus has become real to me. He has become so real to me. So real. Like holy crap nug we serve a God who loves to be personal. He desires to be so personal with us.
This past week was on intimacy with God. Going into this week, I was feeling good about it all. I wasn’t worried, I thought that I knew what it meant to be in relationship. To serve God. Boy, was I in for a surprise. God has completely changed my views. He has proven to me that he wants to actually talk with me. He cares about how my day is, what is going on in my life. He actually cares. Can you believe this? He actually wants to know!
Our teacher is a police officer from New Zealand, he has some incredible stories about God’s faithfulness. At the beginning of this week, I was feeling pretty stubborn about my relationship with God. I thought that I was in a good place with my relationship with him. I am just being straight up honest with you guys, I thought I was doing okay. That’s when Jesus steps in and says “Natalie, you do not know what it means to be in true relationship with me. You do not know intimacy with me. Let me show you. I desire to show you. I love you more then you will ever know Natalie.” As the week progressed, my walls were torn down. I was beginning to see a side of Jesus that I didn’t know existed. A side that showed more love then I knew what to do with. A playful side. A side that actually wanted to know how I was doing. Mind = Blown.
Thursday, he was teaching on how you can ask God a question and he will respond. I asked God the question, What are you trying to show me God? I asked him this question 20 minutes into class. (Class is 2 hours) I put my pen to paper and God took over. I wrote for 1 hour and 40 minutes. Non stop. My hand was aching, but God had more to say. More then my hand could actually handle, I stopped because my hand was aching so much. I have a blister to prove it. 8 pages front and back. I start reading, letting his words wash over me. Words that spoke directly to my thirsty soul. That were straight from God’s heart to mine. Beautiful words that spoke of his love for me. We serve such a personal loving God.
As lecture phase begins to wrap up, and outreach meetings and fundraising begins to happen, I am reflecting back on these past 8 weeks. Life changing. Growing. Crying. A whole lot of crying. “Heart Surgery.” Friendships. Cake. More time was spent eating cake then crying I think actually. There was a whole lot of Nutella consumed. There was laughter. There was joy. There was Jesus, in the midst of it all. Gently reminding us of his love. Providing his peace at all times.
This has been one wild, life changing week. A week that is just another piece of my journey with Jesus. I can’t wait for more. I am so thankful for absolutely every little thing that he has done in my life. Keep it up Jesus, we want more of you.
Hugs + Blessings,