gentle love

by joy soaked words

My fingers are flying across the screen, trying to put into words what my heart is trying to say.

James 1:2.

Consider it pure joy, when trials come your way.

Consider it pure joy when trials come your way.

Pure joy. Uh what? How the heck  can trials be pure joy? Something isn’t adding up in my mind. When trials come, I want to hide in a corner, journal in hand and coffee in the other. I disappear, because I don’t want to face what I am going though. I avoid tackling the problem face on, because I am afraid of what may come from it.

But Jesus.

Jesus. The one who shows me, with the most gentle way possible that when I face a trial with him, it can be pure joy. It can be pure joy when we walk through trials because we have Jesus by our side.

I am two weeks deep in university life. Two weeks deep in textbooks and readings. Two weeks deep in a whole lot of ramen eating. Two weeks deep in learning how to once again live in community. This is one heck of a trial. I’ve almost cried about 4 times today, just overwhelmed with the mere fact of what I am doing. I am enrolled in a school that costs a whole lot of money, studying for a degree I don’t know what I am going to use it for, in a long distance relationship and learning how to not accept what the world sets for standards. I don’t want to live for the world, I only want Jesus. I want him to be my waking thought from the moment my eyes open in the morning, till I drift off to sleep at night. I want nothing but him. I have all of these dreams, big and little. Cool and sometimes stupid. As much as I want to accomplish and say I did it, above all I want Jesus.

He shows me that this trial I am going through is pure joy because he is walking alongside me.

I am still going to have moments what the world says become my standards. I am still going to have moments where I don’t know what else to say other then “I need a hug” while tears are rolling down my cheeks. I am still going to have moments where I lift my head, raise my arms towards heaven and say I can’t do it without you Papa. I can’t.

This trial called university? It’s pure joy to walk through it with Him. Tears and all.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. I am merely a lump of clay in the potter’s hand. He is crafting me, refining me. This trial won’t be the last, and it’s not the first. He is growing me, stretching me.

What a joy.

Such a joy.

Somedays, it won’t feel like a joy to walk through it. It will feel like your world is crashing down around you, but let me remind you that He is still good. He hasn’t left, and he never will. He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

So my friends, consider it pure joy when trials come your way.

Sweet blessings and extra tight bear hugs coming your way tonight,

Nat