When you put yourself out there, heart open and you say yes. You say yes to not knowing if things will work out. You say yes to the laughter that comes, and the tears that follow. You say yes to the crazy adventure of doing life with somebody else. You say yes.
And sometimes that person was meant to love somebody else. They were meant to grow old with somebody else, laugh till 2am with somebody else. And that’s okay. I don’t want to tell you that he has someone else out there for you, because I don’t know. He never promises us marriage, but rather it’s a beautiful gift, straight from him. Above I want Jesus. I want His heart. I want him to consume my every being.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be married. I want to be married one day. I want to travel to Peru, and own a dog. I want kids. I want to own a coffee shop and go to culinary school. I want to live in an apartment and buy a house. But these things will not bring me contentment, as much I try to make them. I can’t find my joy in worldly things, but rather I know that I can only find my joy in The Father alone.
I’ve called it a season of waiting, but now I’m calling it a season of praising. I know. It sucks. Being single. I hear you all single people, desperate for somebody to love you. I get you. The world says relationships. Sex. They say you will find your fulfillment in the perfect one. Go find somebody who makes you happy. Even better if they have money. Jesus says wait on me. He says, I never promised you marriage, it’s a gift from me. A good gift. Wait on me.
I am praising The Father because this past month has been one of growth. I am not going to sit around waiting for the next exciting thing to happen, because this season is one of growth. One of praising. Seeking. Laughter and joy. This season also has tears. It has moments of humbling yourself before Your Father. It’s a season of Him filling me up, so I can pour out. “pour out nat, so I can fill you up again.” It’s a season. One that will pass. For now, I’m not waiting. I’m praising.
I know that there are so many adventures out there.
I know that there are so many opportunities to pour out.
I know that singleness sucks.
I know that watching your friends get engaged while you are healing from a breakup sucks.
I know that The Father is good.
I know that he lavishes his love on us.
I know that he loves to give good gifts to His Children.
I know that I can not and will not find my worth in a guy.
I know that I can only find my worth in Christ. My first love.
If you need me, I’ll be praising My father over blueberry waffles drenched in maple syrup. I’ll be praising My Father over textbooks and midterms. I’ll be praising him in this season of growth. I’ll be praising him while I rock out to worship music at red lights. If you need me, I’ll be praising My Father.
Blessings + hugs,