joy soaked words

finding my way

Month: April, 2018

takes time

Writing is something that I have fallen in love with gradually, I didn’t wake up one morning and decide that I wanted to be a writer, an author or a blogger. Instead, it was many mornings of journaling and blogging, realizing that I find my true passion on that stark white piece of paper and under my URL for my blog. It was countess cups of coffee growing cold beside me and headaches from staring at screens. It was the way a single comment on my blog would make my entire day and that kept me going. It was the way the pencil scratched the surface of the paper, creating something that wasn’t there before, creating words. It was those long English classes, cups of earl grey with milk and honey to keep me awake. The way my professors spoke with passion about their work.

You know, I didn’t fall in love with words overnight.

I can’t fall in love overnight with anything.

It takes time to learn the craft, to learn to write, to know somebody, it takes time to fall in love.

I wrote two English exams yesterday, both had essays on them. I have never really been happy to write an exam, but I loved writing both of them. Because of passion that I carry with me.

The older I get the more I realize that this life is not as long as we think it is when we are 8 years old and dreaming about finally being behind the wheel. Dreaming about our first kiss and simply “growing up.” We were tired of our parents making our decisions for us but we weren’t ready. My dad just told me the other day that he trusts my decision-making skills, that he knows that I am old enough to live with my choices. Guess I have finally grown up in the eyes of my parents even though I know I will always be their little girl.

Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t wait till you have a better job, you are married or whatever else you are waiting for. Stop waiting and start chasing after what you are passionate about. You can’t fall in love in a day, it takes time. Dreams take time. We have to keep showing up, keep being true to who we are.

I have a headache from staring at this screen. Oh well.

I want you to remember three things.

  1. You can’t fall in love overnight with anything
  2. Dreams take time
  3. Find your passion

I have studying to do and stuff to pack up so I should sign off.

Keep showing up.

hugs + blessings,

Nat

you are my breath of fresh air.

I’m sitting a coffee shop across from a friend, papers scattered across the table and a latte with almond milk in hand. Worship music blaring in my ears and the rain is pattering on the window beside me.

I had a conversation with somebody not that long ago about making a place your home. How when you are there and not sure how long you will be there, it is hard to settle down. To allow yourself to feel because you know you have to say goodbye.

Goodbyes are hard for me.

Over time, I have begun to realize how much I need people in my life, even though I know that I will have to say goodbye. How much richer my life is because I get to know and pour into my friends the way they pour into me.

I remember starting at Redeemer, desperate for friends. I remember introducing myself to people in a class, but the conversations would die after how are you.

I remember that desperate prayer I whispered walking back to my dorm. I remember the way the wind took the words straight up to heaven. “God, I need friends. I don’t need many, but father I’m desperate”

I remember when friends started coming into my life and the joy that they brought with them.

I want to make Redeemer my 2nd home for the next three years of my life. I want to make Hamilton a place where I am comfortable.

I know that I am slowly falling in love with this city. The people and all the cool buildings. The coffee shops help with this too.

There is something about friends who giggle with you till 2am. Who give hugs and pray for you. Who continually encourage you. Your life is richer because you know them. Who teach you how to dance. They are popcorn lovers. Sandal in snow wearers. They are extroverted and introverted. They smile with the love of Christ inside them. They are joy bringers. They are encouragers. They are granola addicts and the knock on the door every morning to tell me to have a good day. They are surprise party planners and donut burners. They are the breath of fresh air in my life. They are the “I’ll be back in 5 minutes but actually 2 hours” and kitchen dancers. They are full of life chats and excitement for what’s next. They are selfless lovers. They are the “i’ll be right there and take you to emerge at 3am and sit with you for hours. They are there when you need them most. They are love. Joy. Grace. They are treasures.

Boy oh boy did God ever bless me.

Hamilton, I love you. Thank for the sweet memories. The treasures and the coffee shops.

Thank you for allowing me to have a 2nd home here.

There is so much to be thankful for.

Joy soaked hugs + God’s richest blessings over your life,

Nat

joy bringers.

“We are dreamers” my English Prof spoke into the room filled with the sounds of zippers on backpacks being done up and papers being shuffled around. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down those three words. I haven’t been able to get those words out of my mind as I have been cracking open my books and making countless cups of tea as exams loom.

We are dreamers. 

Created to dream.

I have these huge dreams percolating (I couldn’t find a better word) inside my heart.

I also know that I am swamped with homework and studying.

When my English prof said those three words, it shook me to my core.

He reminded me what I was doing here. Why I am studying English. Why I still have this blog. He reminded me to keep chasing after the dreams inside my heart, even though sometimes it feels impossible.

I wrote a blog post a little while back about my dust covered dreams. I realize that I have shoved my dreams into the back corner again. I have been more focused on other things and I have forgotten about those dreams. I am pulling them out again, dusting them off.

I refuse to let fear take control. Comparison. These are joy stealers. There isn’t room in my heart for joy stealers, only joy bringers.

Joy bringers. 

We need more joy bringers in our lives.

For me, it’s a cup of good coffee and quiet time spent with Jesus. Laughter filled times spent with close friends. An empty journal, just begging to be written in. Handwritten letters and words of encouragement.

I realize that this is the second blog post I have written today. I have so much to say. I have so many journals that are filled cover to cover because I had so much to say. If you give me pen and paper, I can write for hours.

God is doing rad stuff in my life and here on campus.

I can’t wait to see what is next.

May you experience more joy bringers in your life. Go, dust off those dreams of yours.

In the words of a wise man, we are dreamers.

Never forget that.

Blessings + Hugs,

Nat

dear you.

I am writing an open letter to anybody who has come into my life, to those who aren’t in my life anymore and to those who are.

Dear whoever reads this,

Thank you for being apart of my life, thank you for shaping me into who I am today. Thank you for the laughter that you brought, and the tears that we may have shared together.

I know that there are lots of you that I don’t talk to anymore, I know we grew apart as we grew up. Please know that I still remember you, the sweet memories that we shared together.

To those who I still talk to, know that I hold you very dear to my heart. Every time you make me giggle to the point of tears, I realize how blessed I am to know you.

The sweet hellos, and the hard goodbyes knowing that when I said goodbye I might not see you again here on this earth.

Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone, pushing me into what Jesus is calling me to, even when you know I’m scared.

People come and go, but each one marks me for good and sometimes for bad.

The older I get, the more I realize that each and every friendship that I have and have had are so God ordained and a true gift from above.

Thank you for being apart of my life, whether you still are or we have grown apart.

You are awesome.

Your friend,

Nat

praises

My fingers are hovering over the keyboard because the words are swirling around in my mind but I can’t seem to get them out.

I don’t even know when the last time I opened my blog Joy Soaked Words to write, I don’t even remember what I wrote about last. A lot has happened in this past couple of weeks, and God has been teaching me a lot about everything that has happened.

Backstory, I injured my knee while swing dancing close to a month ago, and it hasn’t gotten any better. Two weekends ago, I was at a conference called Freshwind in Toronto. One of the speakers said that she got a picture of somebody with right knee pain from an injury, and God wanted to heal them. I was believing that God was going to heal my knee, and I still am believing that he is because I didn’t get healed at that moment. I realized at that moment that I had a choice to make, I could be disappointed and frustrated with God because he healed other people and he didn’t heal me, or I could keep praising him for what he is doing in my life and the lives of people around me.  I decided to keep praising him, and I haven’t stopped since. God keeps reminding me that I need to rest, to simply be still in his presence.

My first year at Redeemer is almost done, last week of classes and then exams. I am finishing up papers and drinking more coffee then I know I should. This year has changed me in the best way possible. It has taught me to fight for who I am and what I believe in. To never settle. That I still have control over the fear that tries to creep in. That I am worthy of His love. That mini eggs are a food group. At the beginning of the year, my life fell apart and I was left to pick up the pieces, I was ready to drop out and just go home. Then Jesus met me there, he helped me pick up the pieces and put my life back together. He walked through the trials, holding my hand the entire time. He didn’t leave, I know he never will leave.

This year has been one for the books.

I have learned so much.

I am still learning.

Summer is nearing, and I don’t want to leave. I didn’t think I would be able to say that, because I was so ready to leave at the beginning of the year.

He keeps reminding me of his crazy overwhelming love for me. That he went to the cross out of his love for me.

I wrote a little poem after Easter,

he loved. he lived. he died. then he lived again in order to love again. 

To anybody who actually reads this blog, know that Jesus loves you with passion, a love that you won’t be able to experience from anybody else.

This is just a bit of what has been going on in my life, I have some papers that I need to write so this blog is a bit shorter.

I am so happy.

So joy filled.

Laughter filled.

Bless up.

His sweet blessings and bear hugs,

Nat